We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My penis needs a shock collar
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
