I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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