What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
