Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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