i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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