problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
