halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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