I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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