maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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