Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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