It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
