Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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