dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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