my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
