did you get engaged???
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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