he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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