Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Im part way to drunk.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
