Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am naked and annoyed.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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