you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
