Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
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