i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
