I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Less talking, more tequila
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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