tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
