Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
