WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
