Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
