The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
40s are totally the cure
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
