He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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