Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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