after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
