please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
