your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
