ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
