You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
