Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
