He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
