when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
