I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
