I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
