You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
