How'd it feel making her break her religion?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
