We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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