At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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