Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
