Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
time to smoke my breakfast
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
