A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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