how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
