therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
