Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
