Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
