found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
