I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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