he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
