please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
