I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
