Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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