i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just pee around me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
